Two weeks ago I wrote a post called Fear And Business, where I talked about how most people in business, either their own or working for someone else, are working more from a position of fear, which is its own type of motivation, though not very positive.

I don’t think I went far enough in that post in talking about the need to break away from fear and tackle certain things head on. I’m going to address that issue now.

Fear can be debilitating. Fear can make you not sleep at night. Fear can make you make mistakes because you’re afraid to make mistakes. Fear can keep you from talking to other people because you’re afraid of how they’re going to react.

I’ve had fear; heck, I have fear right now. We all have something we fear, whether it’s heights, bugs, poverty, relationships, or aliens. Okay, maybe not aliens so much. Still, we all have fears, and it’s perfectly natural to have them. I don’t fully subscribe to the theory that all fear are unjustified, because you’d be smart to be afraid of heights if you had to endure something like this:


http://youtu.be/ZmDhRvvs5Xw

Doing something like trying to navigate across that could get you killed; that’s a healthy fear. Some fears aren’t healthy, though. Those that you can’t address because you’re afraid of a reaction or situation that you’re only speculating could happen is an irrational fear. It’s the type of fear where someone else has the power over you without realizing it.

I’ll own up to one of my own. I hate making sales calls. As an independent consultant, that obviously hurts my business At the same time, my “fear” is that it’s uncommon for someone who does what I do to just up and call hospitals to pitch themselves. I send out marketing material, hoping that will get me in. Thing is, that sort of thing doesn’t work; I don’t even know if the person I’m sending the mailings to will open it, or even if that’s the person really responsible for it. So, occasionally I do pick up the phone and I start making calls, or I find email addresses and contact them that way. One of those things most people don’t think about when they go into business for themselves is the marketing part.

I talk to many people who have problems with creditors of some fashion, and they’ll sit at home worrying about how they can pay these people and avoiding the phone when they see those strange looking numbers on caller ID. Trust me, I know what it’s like, and I’ve done the same type of thing in the past. It can get overwhelming, that’s for sure. I also know many people who are in relationships that aren’t what they want, who end up getting engaged and married when they know it’s not the right thing to do, but they fear the confrontation more than the reality that divorce is so much more ugly and difficult to deal with.

Here’s my thing; at a certain point, if you want a moment of peace, or if you want to move forward, you’re going to have to address your issues and take control of your situation. I’m sure you’ve all heard that when you back an animal into a corner it will always fight harder. Well, hopefully you won’t wait until you reach that corner before you start fighting back in some fashion. Hopefully you’re able to deduce a plan of attack that will help you at least address those fears and move forward in some way, even if it’s only a little bit of peace of mind.

For instance, if you owe a creditor, why not call them and try to talk to them first? At the very least, you’ll get them off your back for at least 2 or 3 weeks, because they have to take a pause between when they can call you unless you give them permission to call you more often.

If you don’t understand something where you work and it’s crucial to your job, take a moment to write your question down in a way that you can ask it and have the person you’ve asked understand just what it is you need, and then go ask that person the question. What do you gain by sitting around waiting for an answer to pop into your head?

If you’re having problems in your relationship try talking them out. A book I read called Crucial Conversationsicon can help you learn how to do it so that it comes across as positive as it can possibly be. What you might discover is that your partner has either had some of the same feelings, or has been sensing them coming from you. It’s better to know where you stand now than later.

Fear can be paralyzing. Breaking through fear can open your mind. And once your mind is open, maybe you’ll think of things you can do to overcome most of those fears and keep out of those places of fear forever. You’ll feel better.

Within reason, though; I’m still never crossing that path!

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