Are People Living Down To Your Expectations?
Posted by Mitch Mitchell on Apr 25, 2012
The other day my wife and I were having a discussion on why some children misbehave out in public to the extreme while others seem to have their act together. My wife, one of 7 children, said that in her opinion children are the direct result of what their parents expect them to be most of the time. For instance, if a parent tells their child when they're young that they're really smart and intelligent, a child will go out of their way to live up to it. But if a parent is always telling a child how stupid and misbehaved they are, a child will live down to that expectation because it's what's being reinforced in their minds.
Of course there are no absolutes, and children in both circumstances will sometimes become what their parents didn't expect, but there's a lot to be said for deciding how to influence people to go in the direction you'd like them to go. Some might call it manipulation but I tend to think of manipulation as a negative whereas motivation is seen as a positive.
What do I mean? Let's say that your company makes some kind of widget and you have an assembly line process where each person is responsible for one thing as it pertains to your product. For everything to stay status quo for the company you need each person to complete at least 300 pieces of their part of the widget each day. So that's the figure you as the manager look for from each person. Sounds good, right?
What do you then do if you're putting things together, reviewing the process, and suddenly realize that your employees could actually be putting out 500 pieces a day? Or what happens if you know that some of your people are so good that they could easily put out way more?
This type of thing happens in almost every business I've ever seen where there's more than 10 employees. There are people who are supreme, and there are those who are there to only get a paycheck. If managers expect their employees to only live up to a certain standard, that's exactly what most of them will live up to without some kind of engagement in the company. If there's no benefit to an employee to do more, and it's not expected of them, then that's where an employee will stay until they get so bored that they decide it's time to find something more challenging and mentally stimulating.
Sometimes there's a fine balance between pushing someone too much and not pushing them enough. Leaders have to figure out which way they want to go, but it's always better to try to get people to live up to and surpass expectations. It's always best to try to motivate everyone to be the best they can be; no one at the top ever complains when someone gives them more than what they thought was possible. And while you're at it, expect more from yourself as well; nothing works better than leading by example.
I was at about 2nd paragraph of the article and actually the rest of it came into my mind and I wanted to mention it in my comment. There is similarity between parental care and leader development. When there is respect and recognition between both sides things get easy. For instance, parents have great power over children and when they say “you are smart” this is taken to be 100% fact to the kids. On the other hand if company manger or owner say the same thing to young employee is a great way to build confidence and probably is the first step to appoint a future leader. Of course there are many other factors that matter and a probably the biggest one is environment, for both childhood and office. Balance, I think this is the though part and I think here comes the part of having a talent and develop something in your own way.
There are similarities Carl, but I’m very careful in not trying to relate parenting to leadership because the overall dynamics are different. A parent can’t fire a child, but a leader also can’t beat or punish an employee. Yet there are times when one’s actions will produce the same in both, and that’s what I caution against.
Haha, you are right, Mitch there is slight difference and you mention the right point, no need to push it too much and it is very important to find the balance.