Recovering From Disappointment
Posted by Mitch Mitchell on Jun 14, 2012
Almost 2 1/2 years ago I wrote a post titled Dealing With Disappointment. In that post, I mentioned how some things I had expected to come through didn't, how I took a brief bit of time to sulk and then got back to it, and how following that some other opportunities came up, balancing out this thing I like to call the laws of attraction.
I'm revisiting that today because the cycle still seems to continue, but in a much different way than before. The same types of things occur; opportunity comes up, it seems good, then for some reason it fails. I go into a funk for a brief bit, come out of it and get going again and eventually another potential opportunity comes.
What's different is that, over time, it becomes harder to come out of those situations where things go in the wrong direction and you didn't have anything to do with it happening and no opportunity to get it back on track. That's a much different thing than making a mistake and having the chance to fix it; when things are totally out of your control, you feel lost and anxious and worried that such opportunities are never going to come around again.
You want to know a truth? Sometimes those opportunities don't come again; sorry to say that. If there was a position open that you didn't get and someone else beats you to it, that position may never come around again. Frankly, one of the great lessons of life is trying to get beyond the permanence of some things never to be because those days have passed.
I think about those things from time to time. I used to own a Grand Prix by Pontiac; that's never coming back. Right now I drive a Kia Amanti, a car I love but know that it's been discontinued, and when it's eventually time to buy a new car I have no idea what might be out there like it, since no one else seems to be selling a car like it now that's in my price range (which isn't $50,000+).
There used to be these little chocolate drinks I loved in the 70's called Frosted; gone, never to be seen again. I had this program that had a special feature I loved, but once Vista came along it wasn't compatible anymore and the company decided not to upgrade for it; sigh...
What do we do when these types of things happen? We fret over it for a bit, then we get to work on trying to find something newer, at least as good, and move on. True, nothing's perfect, as I sit here thinking about how much I liked IBM Assistant in the 80's and early 90's as my word processing program and compare it to MS Word now and think that even with all the fancy stuff Word does I still wish I had that other program around. Still, I really can do so many more things with Word that the other program was never going to be able to do that complaining or pining for the past seems kind of ridiculous.
Back to disappointment. As I write this I've had two disappointments already occur today; both of them before 10AM. I could just shut down for the rest of the day, or I could work on figuring out the next stage of my quest for success. That's why I'm writing this blog post, because part of the next stage of my quest for success was having a new blog post for today. I might have decided not to go this route; instead, a new post brings nothing but positivity to my blog, and hopefully to the readers.
We all want to be happy all the time. Unfortunately, it's our disappointments that sometimes spark the best out of us. I'm hoping this time it sparks some of the best out of me. If not, there's always fried shrimp. 🙂
So much truth packed into this post. Things seem to move so fast anymore and nothing stays the same for long. I remember those Frosty drinks–why’d you have to remind me.
Yesterday I was reading about the disappointing sales figures for Blu-Ray that didn’t meet expectations of the industry. I think part of the problem is that consumers like me don’t trust the technology. As soon as we build a library of DVDs and Blu-Rays a new technology is gonna come along and make all the old stuff obsolete.
Sometimes I feel like maybe I’m becoming obsolete. But like you say, best to keep moving forward and hope the disappointments make us better.
Good for you. Now have that fried shrimp.
Lee
Thanks Arlee. You know, I bought a Blu-Ray player because it was on sale and I have to admit that some movies really do pop out quite nicely, while others don’t look all that different from what I saw in the theater. Still, the worry about new technology is a good one, as I keep wondering when I’ll have the nerve to toss out all my VHS tapes, let alone my albums. lol
As for disappointment, I figure we just keep trying and working towards the best, but not be so stubborn that we won’t modify what we do.
For me it depends on what kind of disappointment it is, rarely hold anything much deeper, but when something personal appear, it may take few years to recover and forget.
Carl, I’d agree that there are different levels of disappointment, but sometimes a small disappointment can feel really big.
You are right and most of the time small and unreasonable disappointment require longer recovery, but I think the best is to try to move on.
Thanks Carl. No one says it’s easy but it’s definitely important.
Hi Mitch,
You’ve packed so much truth into a blog post!
I often feel the same way, and tend to deal with it like you do. I get frustrated as hell which turns into despair that nothing is ever going to work followed by aggravation at myself for the mood swings that leads quickly into moving forward. That cycle can definitely be tiring sometimes, but I’m also not sure I can change it much.
We’re all wired to handle things in a specific way. I don’t know that I can stop the negative reactions, but I can control my recovery from it so that’s where I’ve focused. I’ve come to realize that I’m a pretty optimistic guy overall, so I’m better off to just let the negativity runs it’s course and I’ll quickly find something positive to occupy my thoughts. I think that’s easier than battling nature and trying to re-wire my reactions.
Anyways, I’m glad you found something positive to focus on. It definitely makes life easier when we’re happy and moving in a positive direction.
Have a great day!
~Barry
Thanks Barry. It’s not an easy life working for oneself, but we don’t have a monopoly on disappointment that’s for sure. I’m one of those people who believes that people should be allowed to have some “sulk” time, but staying there too long can be detrimental to one’s state of mind and of course production. Working our way out of issues isn’t always easy, but it’s almost always necessary at some point.