A couple of days ago, a friend of mine got tossed from one of the social networking sites I'm a part of. She basically got herself banned for protecting her very good name, but going a couple more steps forward than she really needed to.

As we were talking on the phone about it later on, I asked her why she continued participating in this one particular area where all the trouble was taking place. Basically, it was an area where all rules of proper discourse were thrown out, supposedly in the aim towards total honesty, but in my mind it lead towards people losing their common sense. All the people in this discussion area are professionals, with independent businesses, and they seemed to have forgotten the golden rule that, when you own your own business, you don't get to put on a drastically different public face than a professional face. People don't forget what you've said. You don't get to be a jerk or a racist in such an area, then act like it has nothing to do with your business.

Her answer was that she had heard from others what was going on, went to look, then lost her mind at the person who insulted her, and all the people who allowed it to take place to begin with. And, instead of them just saying they understood why she was upset and letting her vent, they came back at her for her bad judgment, and, well, there you go. Of course, she said she'd left before they suspended her, but it didn't really matter at that point.

How far are we allowed to go to protect our good name? How far as we willing to go to do the same?

Personally, I hope that I've established a good enough reputation so that, if someone decided they had to try to castigate me in such a manner, that I could, in my own way, bring it to the attention of people who know me and have them help me out with the situation. It's kind of like answering the question "when did you stop beating your wife"; the best way to respond to that question is to not say anything at all.

So, I've lost a very good friend and mentor from this particular site. Truthfully, though initially she was in the right, she was also probably in the wrong later on. Sometimes, you have to know when to stop.