What Keeps You From Being Successful?
Posted by Mitch Mitchell on Oct 22, 2019
I believe all of us have it within ourselves to be extremely successful. Some people get there while others don't. I can't say that I'm successful yet, though I've had some very good times, enough to keep me a relatively happy guy.
What holds many of us back from being successful? Usually it's one of three things.
The first is that we might be lazy. That sounds pretty harsh on the surface, and in reality I don't find many people striving for true success to be lazy. I do hear a lot of people saying they just want to be comfortable, and since I believe there's no such thing as being comfortable most people are either failing in life or are, dare I say, being lazy?
The second is they don't understand the process for becoming successful. They might not know enough about their industry, or might not have gone through enough things to really know how to apply their knowledge properly. I'm not the icon of great success, but I've made it through 18 years of self employment when the average is 3 years or less.
The third thing on the list is fear. We're scared to do certain things because of perception or difficulty. For instance, the one thing I absolutely hate to do is make cold calls. I'll go out of my way to not have to do this one thing, which could be very important to my business (but it's not, since hospital administrators never answer their phone lol). However, whenever I get a contract, I'm confident in my ability to give more than the client expects from me, even if they're read about my $730 million success once upon a time.
Many people are scared to try because they think they're going to be found to be frauds. They worry that people won't like them or what they have to say. They worry that they might upset someone and make people mad.
That's what it takes for anyone that wants to succeed. There's always going to be some people who aren't going to like you. There are lots of people who don't like Oprah, not because she did anything but because she's rich, and they have their own opinions about rich people. Oprah's not sitting at home crying because a few people might not like her, especially since she knows there's more who like and respect her than her haters.
A bad mindset if tough to overcome. At the beginning of this decade, when the economy was in trouble, I knew a lot of people who were unemployed. While they were looking for work, I encouraged some of them to take a shot at exploring self employment, based on what they believe their talents were. Not one person over all those years even considered trying it. People sometimes tend to think all they are is the position and job they have or had, no matter what skills they might have acquired. The very thought of working for themselves is terrifying, even if they have nothing to lose.
It's hard to be successful when all you're doing is anticipating fear. All it takes is a mindset change where you tell yourself that you're capable, you're good, you're strong, and you deserve the best that life can get you, and you're willing to work for it.
You don't have to be self employed to be successful. Trying to be the best at what you do is sufficient. You'll either move up the ladder where you are or obtain the skills to go someplace else where they'll pay you for your proficiency.
What is it that keeps you from taking a shot at being more successful than you already are? What is it that scares you from almost anything else in your life? If you can identify that based on one of the three things I mentioned above, or maybe something in your history, you might come up with a way to overcome it so you can move forward and be successful... whatever that means to you.
If you're happy where you are... good for you! π
Mitch this is a great topic with many layers and possible answers.
What I see as a professional coach is people get caught up in the wave of all the things and steps they’ll have to do to crush their endgame, reach their goal, be successful etc. Their “Itty Bitty Shitty Committee” whisper these thoughts into their head and then they decide to retreat from or abort the endgame entirely.
So the importance of having a vision of the endgame cannot be understated.
Another question to ask is what will be the ripple effect on your personal life, professional life, etc once you achieve your goals, endgame etc?
Conversely, what’s the ripple effect if you decide to live in the land of status quo, your current situation, etc?
That’s great stuff Steve. I wrote an article once (here or the other blog) asking people if they were ready to be successful. We’ve seen so many people become successful before they were ready for it and it caused all kinds of problems. What you described sounds a lot like fear to me.
Excellent topic! I felt like you were my big brother, from another mother, giving your little sister some sound advice.Γ°ΕΈβ’β
I look around and see a lot of people in my field doing the same thing and they appear to be successful. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of originality. I don’t want to be like the rest, I want to be different from this in my field.
I think I relate most to being fearful. But I am slowly coming out of that and stepping into my own. I know one day I will be successful and I also know success doesn’t happen over night, sometimes it takes years. But I won’t give up. If one way doesn’t work, I’ll take another path until I get to where I want to go.
Evelyn, you know I’m pulling for you. Your latest ventures show you as confident and strong, and I like what I’m seeing. Of course I also enjoyed being interviewed, but I was proud of you before we did that. π