I came across someone on Facebook that I knew; well, that's not totally accurate. I'd been to two seminars she'd given, and I'd interacted with her during both of those seminars. So, when I came across her on Facebook, I wanted to "friend" her because I enjoyed both presentations she gave. She's also local, and I figured it couldn't hurt any being associated with her.

remember me?

She wrote back a few days later asking if she should know me and why I was asking her to accept me as a friend. I was slightly taken aback because I'm not necessarily unknown in my area, though I'm not overly famous either. My picture was attached to my submission to her, and the fact is that she probably sees few black people at any of her presentations in this town; I've always been the only one in her audience. Still, I put that aside and responded to her, telling her who I was, and she accepted me into her circle.

The thing is that I couldn't get overly upset with her in not remembering who I was, because I tend to suffer from the same thing. If I'm not working with someone for some time, or haven't had some big experience that's prompted me to remember a person, I just don't recall them. I used to be able to say I never forgot a face when I was younger; that's not the case anymore. Heck, here and there I have a memory lapse when it comes to calling someone by their name in person, even if I've known them for years. The curse of getting older. lol

I consistently have people greet me by name that I have no idea who they are, or how I should know them. That's troubling to me, as someone who talks about leadership and customer service, because I figure if I expect people to remember me because I'm supposed to be unique, shouldn't I remember everyone else, because we're all unique?

Here's the overwhelming truth; I'm not going to remember everyone, and everyone isn't going to remember me... or remember you. You're not going to remember everyone either. It's literally impossible to do unless you live in a closed society.

There was a lady I knew who taught classes on memory for Dale Carnegie in the mid 2000s. I knew her name because I'd been in a couple of courses, and I also remembered her for her hair; I can't tell you why. 🙂 One day I saw her at a local event in the city of Syracuse. She was teaching a class of some sort, and I was just walking around looking at things and saw her in there. When the class was over, she came out with everyone else, and I greeted her by name. She looked at me with a brief recognition of my face, but couldn't remember my name. She was younger than me, taught memory tricks, and I'm "unique" in this area; if she couldn't remember me, what was I going to do about my memory?

If people can't remember you, by extension it means that they might have problems remembering other things. My ex was fond of saying that people only remember what they want to remember. I changed it around to say that people remember what they need for that time, and other stuff may take a while for it to manifest itself. How many times have you forgotten to give someone a phone call, only to have the memory of it pop up while something else is going on? That's just how memory works.

My overall point is that if you want people to remember you or the things you say, you need to find a way to make it memorable, imprintable on their minds so they just can't forget. Make something boring and even you will forget it eventually. Think of what works for you, then try it on others.

If that doesn't work, you have two options. One is to ask others what helps them remember things and go that route. Two... learn to live with it, because it happens to all of us occasionally.

It's never about process; it's about success, or being as successful as possible. Try to remember this article; I bet you won't remember it in a few days, and I'll try not to be depressed about it. 🙂