Emotionally Connecting With Others
Posted by Mitch Mitchell on Sep 20, 2012
I recently read an article by a guy named Peter Vajda titled So You Think You Can Lead. In the post, he talks about the need to be able to make an emotional connection with your employees, and he compares it to a couple participating in a dancing competition and how they can only be really good when they connect with each other emotionally because that's where trust comes from.
  Scott Maxwell via Compfight |
The days of autocratic rule are coming to an end for the most part. Even in a tough economy, employers are learning that when they exert perceived power in unfair ways workers will rebel, whether it's en masse by strike or by just up and quitting without giving notice. When an employee is willing to give up their accumulated vacation time because they just have to get away from you, that's when it's time to reflect on your style of leadership.
No one is saying that you need to have kumbaya moments. I don't want anyone going into the office one day, sitting in the middle of the floor, crying and then asking everyone to join in for a group hug. Frankly, that thought makes me cringe. 🙂 Instead, being able to engage employees with even a simple "hello" in the morning is a great start to opening communications to a comfortable enough level where tension is released and employees get the sense that you the leader at least likes them.
How important is that? Think about yourself for a moment. Even if you're self motivated, don't you feel good when someone gives you a compliment? And doesn't feeling good make you want to try harder, even if it's only for yourself?
So many people underestimate motivation but it's a powerful tool that's easy to do. A greeting when meeting people; taking a moment or two to talk to someone; allowing others to share their opinions with you about work related issues; what harm is there in any of this, especially when the benefits can be wondrous?
If this isn't your style you should seriously think about changing up just a bit. Remember, as a leader, it's not all about you. If you think it is, have everyone leave for a day and you try to do everyone's job yourself; you'll change your tune real quick.
Copyright protected by Digiprove © 2012 Mitch Mitchell 
Great post Mitch!!
Thanks Lisa; been awhile.
You are right, Mitch. Often things are more complicated and require different approach. Honestly, working with many people isn’t easy, from my practice I have seen that some employees need a bit more attention than others. Often things are not always related to work, but for sure almost everybody can feel energy boost if relationship are more friendly and employees have more freedom, as well as opportunity to make suggestions.
I don’t think it’s all that hard, Carl. It’s all up to how one decides to lead and interact with others.
Mitch,
Today I caught some snippets about Moore’s Law, education and Steve Jobs re the education venue. For some time I taught collaborative teams in a high school environment to ready students for university and work life.
Designing work to be creative and open is fundamental. And I believe paramount for the US to lead in the marketplace.
As we can clearly see (well some of us) the corporate organism has changed dare I say to the past : cottage industries, albeit the Colonial product. We are moving in a wonderful direction for industry. Hope it continues.
A historian
Thanks for sharing that Candace. I’m glad that it’s starting in high school because it might help people learn how to work better with others as time goes by. Overall though, I think more companies suffer in “it’s always been this way” instead of coming up with new ways of doing something, and that’s too bad.
I really wish they were coming to an end Mitch, I think the trouble is that there will always be people who’s style is to dominate others for reasons of personal inadequacy or whatever, and the only thing that keeps these tendencies reined in is the company’s own policies and vigour in enforcing them.
Where this isn’t in place those people will carry on their ways unchecked.
What goes around comes around, these folks will always get their comeuppance, my point is they will always exist and it takes a very good system to weed them out.
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You’re right Roz, it’s not going away soon. However, I talk about it hoping some people will recognize themselves and stop, and that others who work for people like this will learn how to deal with them or leave. There are a lot of bad leaders and a lot of them with this particular style. No one has to put up with someone like that.
Hey Mitch, I really liked this post too. It inspired me to write the post linked below in your comment luv section. Thanks!
–Mike
I read the post Mike and I’m touched; I’m even going to comment on it. It’s amazing when we learn lessons, but sometimes even more amazing when we see those lessons applied and can say “whoa, that actually works”. I’m glad it all worked out.
Hey, sorry about the mis-spell 🙂 Not sure how it slipped by me on several proof-reads. Anyway, I’m glad you liked my post! I all sort of came to me quickly when I read your article here and I figured I better write it immediately. Then I had to let it sit a few days, so I could see (almost) all of the errors and fix them!
LOL! You know, I left a comment on your post on defragging yesterday as well but I don’t see it anywhere so maybe it got gobbled up; happens sometimes.
That is odd, I just checked to see if it went into spam and it’s not there! I suppose I’ll apologize on behalf of blogger here now…though I’m not company spokesman for them! I’m very unsure what happened! I haven’t set my comments to moderate, since blogger started using that spam filter, but they save all of the spam messages, some of which are legit comments and your’s wasn’t there…sorry!
No problem; trying to give you some love is all.