If you read my blog often enough, you know that I strongly subscribe to 3 moral positions: loyalty, trustworthiness, and honesty... in that order. I believe that's how you need to be with your friends, with your co-workers, and as much as possible with everyone else you meet throughout your life. I keep finding out how much my friends can, and have, protected me in my life, and it shows just how much people will give back to you what you've given to them.

Protect me! 🙂

When I was in college, the second half of my freshman year, I had a major crush on a young lady. That crush lasted for almost a year and a half. I got a little bit of reciprocity back initially, but by the second year things started changing. I knew they were changing, but I didn't know why. At some point all of us know the signs when a relationship isn't going to go where you might hope it will.

For the longest time I had problems getting over her. I had a couple more relationships after that, real relationships, but I never fully got beyond thinking about this lady. I got to see her in person years later at a mutual friend's wedding. That was a nice time as I also got to hang with her family and a couple other friends. I knew that there was never going to be anything between us.

I still called her every once in awhile, and we'd talk. We didn't live in the same town, and back then there were no long distance plans, so each call cost me a pretty penny. I didn't care; I loved talking to her.

I knew there were changes going on in her life. The last time I talked to her, I knew there was something wrong, but wasn't sure what it was. She just didn't sound right to me. Three weeks later, she was gone.

Loyalty is at the top of my list. That's why I kept on calling her. I always thought that if nothing else, I could help her solve her demons. I had figured out what they were, but didn't know how to help her overcome them. I hoped that by talking, that would be enough; it wasn't.

Years after she passed I kept thinking that maybe I didn't do enough. I had one of our mutual friends talk to me and finally convince me that she wasn't the same person we'd both known, and hadn't been that person for years. I knew she was right, and was ready to move on.

Then a couple of years later I had the opportunity to talk to another mutual friend of ours from college. She knew about the crush I'd had back in the day. She also knew many other things, and it turns out some of the other people I knew back then had the same knowledge.

Once I told my friend that our mutual friend had passed away so many years ago (I was surprised that I'd never told her before), she began telling me a few things that I didn't know had occurred back in those days. She said they all knew how I felt, and wanted to protect me from those things at the time.

I could see her point. I had made it my obligation to always protect her and my other friends any chance I could get, and after a while they felt obligated to return the favor, even though I never expected it. Even back then they would try to talk me into doing other things, which I eventually did, but I didn't know the reason behind why they were doing any of it.

After learning some of these things, I thanked her for protecting me when I was vulnerable, and if I had the chance to catch up with the rest of them I'd thank all of them for their consideration and friendship. They were certainly loyal, and at this point I know they were trustworthy enough to protect my interest.

As far as the honesty goes, in this case it wasn't news that I needed to know. They never lied to me about anything else. I can't say they lied to me about this; they just didn't tell me, and in retrospect, I was a different person back then, so it was a smart move on their part. They all showed a high level of perspicaciousness; who could have asked for a better group of friends?

If you show loyalty, trustworthiness, and honesty to the people you most value in your life, you'll get it back in more ways than you can imagine. If you do the same with the people you work with, you'll be amazed at the good that will come from it. I can honestly say that my life was better because of great friends, and great co-workers. I hope you can say the same.