Are We Less Tolerant Of People’s Verbal Mistakes?
Posted by Mitch Mitchell on May 23, 2014
Last night I was made aware of recent comments by the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban. He was talking about the Donald Sterling situation, the present owner of the Los Angeles Clippers who may be forced to sell his team for racial statements about black people and, specifically, Magic Johnson.
His positions were thus:
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* He's not sure it's fair to judge someone on words they used in what was supposed to be a private conversation
* He believes everyone is prejudiced to a degree, and he used an example of a hooded black kid and bald tattooed man at night and the fears he might have in having to walk by them.
* He's not sure it's fair to have an ultimate penalty against someone for one transgression because, if it happens this time who could be the next target for an error in judgment.
First, since it's Mark Cuban saying this, I can't say that I'm overly surprised by the last point I threw up there. As someone who's been fined millions of dollars by the NBA for his faux pas' over the years I could see why he might be concerned about his own well being.
Second, if Cuban's worried about judging Sterling on the words he initially used on a tape that he now says was a set up against him, then the things he said in his interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper to try, in his own way, to apologize, should be enough to erase those concerns.
Third, considering the examples Cuban used above, I think regardless of what someone looks like if you're not being cautious of anyone who's walking towards you or up on you from behind at night in today's world you're being naive, and I don't care what neighborhood you live in. I stopped walking on dark streets in 2001 when I was in Houston and worried about a potential confrontation when this kind of suspicious guy, who was a little bigger than me, kept walking by me front and back until I stopped and prepared for a fight that never came. If that's not more common sense than prejudice then I don't know the meaning of the word.
With that said, let's address the topic I posed in the title. Are we too quick to judge people on verbal errors in judgment these days? I mean, if I hear someone call black people "colored" should that automatically make me see that person in a totally different light than I might have before? Should anyone go to that person and try to set them straight on an archaic term that, these days, is seen as somewhat offensive?
The truth? I don't know. It's hard for me to answer this one because the reality is that it "depends". It depends on intent; it depends on the audience; it depends on who's saying it and in what context; it depends on whether the person "should" know better and be capable of altering the words they use, or cares about the words they use.
I could cite examples but I think the point has been made. In many ways it's too easy to see where someone should know better, and sometimes it's easy to tell whether they did it on purpose or not. We've come to the days where people would rather do or say something stupid, on purpose, and apologize for it later or say that they were "misunderstood" or "misquoted"; yeah, right.
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We also have those instances where, because of age or not being around something all that much, someone might utter a phrase that they really didn't have a way of knowing that it was inappropriate anymore, such as words people use for Asians or people born with mental disabilities.
Those of us in the know might be aghast sometimes, but if we think deeper about it we come to recognize certain things are truths, no matter how we feel. After all, I kind of gave Paula Deen a pass last year based on her age and background.
Once again it all comes down to consequences and what people are ready to deal with. Once you're in an open forum, all bets are off. Even if you think something is private, like that sheriff in New Hampshire and Romney in a fund raiser back in 2012, in this day and age where smartphones can record anything you'd better make sure your friends are really your friends if you're going to say something bad about someone else. And if you're famous in any way... as we used to say, "check yourself before you wreck yourself."
What's your thought on this type of thing? If people get on someone for stupid statements, do they have as much right to do so as the person who uttered the phrase? Or should we give people a pass if they've never shown an inclination against a certain group, like Ellen Degeneres once gave a young actress a pass on her show when the woman said that something was "gay"?
It is always possible to take coversation out of context and turn it into something else. First of all there might be situation of affect that may lead conversation into different direction. Immediately I’ve suppected that Donald Sterling have caught his girlfriend in affair with some of the followers on Instagram. After that would have been easy just to pick part of the long conversation and turn it into international scandal.
Actually Carl, in his case he was either just jealous of Magic Johnson or secretly hated him and said things beyond what he actually wanted to say. His fake apology on CNN kind of proved that; he was way too easy and, when all is said and done, he was beaten up by anger because his wife decided to sue his mistress. I do agree with your statement that sometimes statements are taken out of context and can cause all sorts of problems.
I dunno Mitch. It is a hard question. Should things you say in private be held against you in public? Wow. Tough one. And does it really matter? If I tell you I don’t like Martians and think they should all go back to where they came from does that mean I should not be CEO of my Wigit Company anymore? If that is the case should ANY of us be in a leadership or ownership role? Is any among us with out that ‘sin’?
Actually Troy, I can honestly say I haven’t made a mistake like this since I was 30, and I wasn’t called on it, it was something I used to say because I hadn’t come to a realization at the time that it might not be nice. I had no malice, and everyone knew that, but when it hit me that it might not be seen in a good light I stopped using the term.
The thing is, that was in the 80’s, and I became self aware of things other than race back then. In today’s world everyone knows what’s up and thus should know better, at least in public. The thing is that if you’re a billionaire and you’ve already had issues with race, to the extent that you had to pay a few million in fines, you should be more circumspect in what you say and who you say it to.
Still, I see the guy as on octogenarian who’s trying to play younger than his status and got played. In almost 98% of businesses and circumstances in this country he could have ridden it out and not have it make an impact anywhere. But he said it as part of a league that’s what, at least 90% black (being kind here lol) and went after one of the most beloved players of all time, and then compounded his idiocy by not only bashing Magic Johnson again, but added the part where, it can be taken this way, he indicated that because someone might have Aids (that was his word instead of HIV) that they can’t be positive role models for anyone. I think a major dose of “shut up” needed to be administered, and even his lawyer didn’t want him to do the interview, and now we all know why.
In his case, yeah, he had to go. But you look at Chik-Fil-A and all the things the CEO of that company has said, and will probably continue to be said, and it makes you wonder if it’s a slip or planned, just to see how far people can be pushed. It really matters who you are and what you do I suppose. Is it fair all the time? Maybe not, but people are paid the big bucks not to rock the boat in stupid ways.