Is The Past Really The Past?
Posted by Mitch Mitchell on Jan 6, 2009
Earlier this evening, I was at a restaurant picking up a meal. I've never been to this restaurant before, but I had ordered food and had it delivered from this restaurant in the past, so I figured I'd just go and get it this time around.
I had a nice conversation going with the person behind the counter and all was pretty light and reasonable until I handed her my card. She looked at it, then looked at me, and then asked me for identification. I flinched, and my entire mood changed. I haven't been asked that question once since I've been in Reno, and my mind immediately flashed back to past times, where I knew there was an inequity going on.
I remember back in the day when others in a restaurant didn't believe the credit card belonged to me, no matter who I was with. What, a young black man can't have a gold credit card? Yeah, maybe I was sensitive, but yet I'd then wonder why they didn't make such an assumption with anyone else; trust me, I kept my eyes open. Some people say that minorities go out of their way to notice racism; I like to say that many people have their eyes closed when racism is occurring, and only if they're impacted in some way do they notice when it occurs.
Many is the time when I've been behind a white person who did the same thing I did, yet I was the one who got questioned. Many times I ignored it, but sometimes I'd say something to the effect of "you didn't ask him/her for that", and I'd always get some stupid response back. Goodness, not on the credit card side of things, but every once in awhile I'd go up to the person I saw following me in a store and ask them if I could help them, since they were obviously interested in me; you should see those people stammer.
Anyway, back to this evening. I showed her my identification, then said "I hope you do this for everyone who comes in."
She said she did, and I said "Well, I hope so, because I would hate to think that this has anything to do with my race, since there's only 1.2% of black people in Reno."
She said "Oh no, I always ask, but people seem to get mad at me when I ask for it."
I said "That's because you're possibly the only restaurant in town that asks for it. But we're going to see if that's true, because in the next 30 days I'm going to come into this restaurant for a meal, and I'm going to be watching how people are checked out, and if no one else is asked, and then I go to check out and I'm asked, I'm going to file a discrimination suit against this restaurant and become a very rich man." And I left.
Now, I probably won't ever go into that restaurant again, which is a shame because their food is pretty good. It may be policy, and it might not be. However, there's two things at work here that are bothering me. The first is that I felt disrespected and a victim of racial profiling, whether I was or not. I felt it because of things I've experienced in my past. I'm going to be half a century later this year, and I think that's long enough for me to feel a gut reaction to things such as this, though I can't help it.
And, if this really is something they do for everyone, and all the other cashiers notice that their clientele is hesitant and gets upset when they're asked, and yet this restaurant continues the practice, it says that they're missing a fundamental aspect of how customer service works. There isn't anything in the world that's tasty enough or valuable enough that will keep people coming back to a place that makes them uncomfortable. And if management isn't paying attention to this, then this is a restaurant chain that just needs to go away, no matter how delicious their fare is.
Is the past ever really the past? I guess it's not.
Funny how our posts are kind of similar tonight. Anyway, I like the part about how you will be back in 30 days. They will now either be on their P’s & Q’s or mess it up. I think you should go back. I think you will end up being a really rich man! 🙂
I was actually surprised I came up with it so quickly; certainly wasn’t a prepared speech by any means. Yeah, I probably should go back, earlier in the evening when there’s more people, but since I’m not in my hometown, I just might let it go. There’s way more places to eat around here.
What a shame that you had to go through that in this day and age Mitch. What did she say after your comment about filing a possible suit in the future depending on the way they treated other customers? Man, I wish I was there for that, and honestly, it would serve them right.
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I didn’t give her the chance to say anything, as I’d already signed the receipt for my purchase. A part of me says I could be wrong on half of it, but I’m certainly not wrong on half of it at the same time.
Oh well, in that case it’s probably best to put it behind you. Stressing over it now certainly won’t do you any good. It pisses me off that this sort of crap still happens, but unfortunately it’s the world we live in.
Just to change the subject, are you going to hit the casinos again? If you do, don’t take any chances.
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Race/gender is still an issue, just not always voiced outloud. For others it is a non-issue.
I was surprised when my sister was visiting. She has an interracial marriage. I met her at a local pizza place. She’d been waiting a while with her children to be waited on. Business was slow. Those who arrived after her already had their food and her order hadn’t been taken yet. I found the manager and the order was taken, food soon brought to the table.
Was it a race issue? probably. In this case it was a young black woman who would not wait on her. I didn’t understand. My sister explained, it is because they feel like I’m stealing one of “their men”. But she said if a white person was waiting on her, she was still discriminated against. Many on both sides dislike mixed marriages.
She told me there was often a difference in service when her family was with her. On her own, she always had better service. more courtesy, shorter wait time, more smiles, friendlier service. Little things which are hard to measure.
She also got pulled over more when her family was in the car with her. Surprised to be pulled over in Texas and asked to show her green card. It took her a while, even though she had her driver’s license, to explain she was a US citizen.
There is hope, watch children on the playground, playing together. Yes, they notice the differences in hair, skin color. But it is a non-issue. “Here is my new best friend”. And I think that is key in breaking down more barriers.
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It’s terrible treatment of your sister and her family, Heidi, and that kind of mess, especially in service industries, can’t be tolerated. This is 2009 after all, and we have our first black/mixed race president who’s going to be taking the oath of office in a few days. It’s hard for one side to ignore the issues of race when it keeps getting thrown in our face, and yet it’s hard for the other side to ignore the issues of race when they’re not thinking their actions might be interpreted as being racial to begin with. More and more people just need to say something when an event occurs; it may not immediately solve anything, but at a certain point things will get better.
Great story (in a personal way) … try to let it go… Those of us following your blog and twitter followers know the real/great you! That’s what counts! Cheers!
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Thanks for the comment, Jennifer. You know, I did let it go, as I’m back home and don’t see myself heading back to Reno any time soon, but it’s just amazing what happens at times. Of course, then CNN followed with this story on its website today: http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/01/07/racism.study/index.html
I guess since I have never had to deal with the racial aspect, I have a different perspective on this. Like when you are in Vegas, you get ID’d for everything. I appreciate it, since I have my card stolen and used all around town before, without anyone questioning whether it was my card or not. I remember as a cashier, I asked for ID on any card that didn’t have a photo on the front or a signature on the back, regardless of the person’s race, age, gender, etc. People would get kind of pissy, but I always thought – what if one of these people dropped their card out in the parking lot, and someone else came in with it and charged $500 on it. Wouldn’t they be pissed then that we didn’t check if the card belonged to the person using it?
But I do agree that if you notice only a certain group of people are being carded, and no one else, yes, that is discrimination and should be called as such.
~ Kristi
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That’s kind of my main point, Kristi. If it’s done for everyone, then good. But when it’s not, it’s irritating. Unfortunately, I’ve seen the bad just as much as the good, so it always leaves one questioning.