If you read this blog often enough, you know that I really subscribe to 3 moral positions: loyalty, trustworthiness, and honesty. I really believe that’s how you need to be with your friends, with your co-workers, and as much as possible with everyone else you meet throughout your life. Tonight I learned once again just how much my friends can, and have, protected me in my life, and it shows just how much people will give back to you what you’ve given to them.


Back in college, the second half of my freshman year, I had a major crush on a young lady. That crush lasted for almost a year and a half. I got a little bit of reciprocity back initially, but by the second year things started changing. I knew they were changing, but I didn’t know why. At some point all of us know the signs when a relationship isn’t going to go where you might hope it will.

For the longest time I had problems getting over her. I had a couple more relationships after that, real relationships, but I never fully got beyond thinking about this lady. I got to see her in person years later at a mutual friend’s wedding, and that was a nice time as I also got to hang with her family and a couple other friends. I knew that there was never going to be anything between us.

I still called her every once in awhile, and we’d talk. We didn’t live in the same town, and back then there were no long distance plans, so each call cost me a pretty penny. I didn’t care; I loved talking to her.

I knew there were changes going on in her life. The last time I talked to her, I knew there was something wrong, but wasn’t sure what it was. She just didn’t sound right to me. Three weeks later, she was gone.

You see above that loyalty is at the top of my list. That’s why I kept on calling her. I always thought that if nothing else, I could help her solve her demons. I had figured out what they were, but didn’t know how to help her overcome them. I hoped that by talking, that would be enough; it wasn’t.

For a few years after she passed I kept thinking that maybe I didn’t do enough. I had one of our mutual friends talk to me and finally convince me that she wasn’t the same person we’d both know, and hadn’t been that person for years. I knew she was right, and was ready to move on.

Then a couple of years later I had the opportunity to talk to another mutual friend of ours from that college. She knew about the crush I’d had. She also knew many other things, and it turns out some of the other people I knew back then had the same knowledge.

Once I told my friend that our other friend had passed away so many years ago (I was surprised that I’d never told her before), she began telling me a few things that I didn’t know had occurred back in those days. She said they all knew how I felt, and wanted to protect me from those things at the time.

I could see her point; I had made it a point of protecting her and my other friends any chance I could get, so they were going to return the favor. Even back then, they would try to talk me into doing other things, which I eventually did, but I didn’t know the reason behind why they were doing any of it.

After learning some of these things, I thanked her for protecting me back then, and if I had the chance I’d thank a few more of my friends for the same type of thing. They were certainly loyal, and at this point I know they were trustworthy enough to protect my interest.

As far as the honesty goes, well, I guess in this case it wasn’t news that I needed to know, and they certainly never lied to me about anything else. I can’t say they lied to me about this; they just didn’t tell me, and in retrospect, I was a different person back then, so it was a smart move on their part. They all showed a high level of perspicaciousness; who could have asked for a better group of friends?

If you show loyalty, trustworthiness, and honesty to the people you most value in your life, you will get it back in more ways than you can imagine. If you do the same with the people you work with, you’ll be amazed at the good that can come from it. I can honestly say that I learned more about friendship than I’d ever known before.

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