I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m diabetic. And I’m not necessarily a good one. I do weigh less than I did when I was diagnosed, but I’m not down as much as my doctor would wish I was.

My progression has been somewhat steady. I started out only on diet and exercise; dieting was so much easier then. At a certain point, it got tougher to stay down, and a little bit of medication was added. Then I started traveling, and control was tough. It’s hard to eat regular while on the road, unfortunately. When I’m home, I may still eat desserts, but it’s balanced with other foods so I can get away with it for the most part; a binge here and there isn’t a good thing, but it’s somewhat under control.

However, things still progress at times, and now I’m on a small dose of insulin. My doctor’s trying to bring down my morning glucose reading, which has always been high, but has gotten a bit higher lately. I have to admit that I had great apprehension before this news, but I was also expecting it. However, I couldn’t find anywhere online where someone had written about it and what to expect, so, even though this is supposed to be a business blog, I feel compelled to share.

First, the doctor had me meet a nurse educator to tell me more about what I was going to be given, which is something called Levamir. I didn’t know there were different types of insulin until then; I still don’t know why. She showed me what it would look like, which is a thicker version of one of those BIC GripRoller pins, if you’re familiar with those. She pulled the pop off, I saw the needle, and my eyes instantly got big. It wasn’t a big needle, but it’s still a needle. She told me I was going to inject it into my stomach; that made my eyes even bigger. Then she told me I was going to practice on myself before I could leave, and my eyes got even bigger; she laughed.

Well, it took awhile, but I finally got the needle into myself; I felt it, but barely. There’s no prick or anything, you just know something is there. And then you push this plunger, and that’s that. My first injection was saline solution, just to be safe. She warned me that I had to squeeze out 2 mgs first to make sure there’s no air, then I’ll be injecting 10mg of insulin each time. The pin has this thing on the end where you can turn it to so many milligrams, so that you can’t overdose accidentally.

My first injection of insulin was Friday night, but I messed it up. I didn’t push the plunger all the way in, and only got maybe 2 mgs into my body. The second night I got the full shot in. Insulin smells like bandages; I didn’t expect that. Other than that, I feel nothing different than before. It’s probably going to take a little while for the insulin to take hold; it hasn’t affected any changes in me just yet.

But I’m no longer scared, and it’s only been a few days. That’s the main point for my writing this; there’s no reason to be scared of the shot, or being scared because you got to that point. We have to be ready to do whatever we need to do in order to try to get, and remain, healthy. My doctor did tell me that, if my morning number comes down, I can get off the insulin. That’s something else I hadn’t expected, but I’ll be working my way towards it. Oh yeah, one more thing; insulin promotes hunger, so it becomes even more imperative to find a way to stay under control more often. I’ve been good thus far; I may be a big guy, but hunger’s never really been my issue. I will have to step up my exercise regimen, though.

But, as I said, I’m no longer afraid.