Lately I've been doing something that's not normally my style, but I knew it was time to change my style a little bit.
I've been dropping out of organizations that aren't helping me achieve my goals. This is a pretty big
step for someone like me, because I don't drop things easily unless someone has shown that I'm not
considered a valuable commodity in some fashion.
For instance, about 5 years ago I had joined an organization which made sense, in my mind, because
they were geared towards employee issues, including training on management and diversity issues. It
was an organization of human resources personnel, the type of people I wanted to meet and be able to
market myself to at some point.
I had been invited to an event where there was going to be discussions on the types of things employees
needed to learn and know, and not all of it was centered around things I did. I decided to go and
participate, because I always believe that one gets out of an organization what they put into it.
Early on, though, I wondered why I'd been invited at all. Every time I wanted to offer an opinion, I
was told that I had to wait until someone else spoke. Sometimes I was outright ignored. I felt
isolated and wondered why. I really hoped it wasn't a racial thing; I was the only black person in
the room out of nearly 100 people, and, with past history, that's one of the first things that jumps
into my mind.
Then, during lunch, I was having what I thought was a pleasant conversation with one of these HR people,
someone I hadn't been in any session with, and when I told him what I did he said this to me:
"You know, the major problem I have with this organization is that they have to let people like you in.
Not that you're a bad guy, but you're not a HR guy, just a vendor trying to sell services. You're a
necessity because many of us don't have the time to do a lot of work for the organization because we
have employers, but I really don't like it and wish we didn't have to deal with outsiders."
Well, what a slap in the face that was. No organization I know has only people who do exactly what
they do in it. That he was so blunt about it was both stunning and illuminating. I then believed
that's how everyone else in the room felt towards those of us who were "outsiders" in the group.
What's funny is that, later on, one of the big issues they were talking about was needing to know who
provided specific kinds of services. Someone said they needed to know of someone who taught diversity,
but knew no one in town; I kept my mouth shut.
I left that day, staying through the rest of it in spite of myself, and never went to another meeting.
I let my membership lapse, and rebuffed requests, from only the national office no less, to rejoin.
I figured I could keep that $150 a year to use for a different purpose.
Not all slights are so open, but there are times when one has to reevaluate an organization to see if
it's worth being a part of it. When I started working for myself, I believed that there were
organizations I needed to be a part of to build up my experience level, for something that would look
good on my business resume, so to speak. After eight years, I've determined that belonging to something
for a better background without getting anything out of it is not only illogical, but it's costly. It
also takes time out of your day that you're wasting, time you could be using for more positive things.
All of tolerate things until we decide it's time to make some changes in our lives. As a matter of fact,
here's a list of 1001 tolerations
you might find interesting, many of which you'll be able to agree with (no, I didn't write this) and some
which you'll wonder why you put up with it. We put up with jobs we don't like. We put up with people
who make us feel sad. We put up with bad service.
We put up with a lot of things we don't have to put up with. Wouldn't you like to feel empowered
about your life again? Unless you're a slave, you have the right to do anything you want to do with
your life. You're allowed to be happy and content. True, you have to make money to survive, but nothing
says you have to make money doing something you absolutely hate.
Decide today to take some steps towards making your life more positive. What are those steps?
Only you can decide that. However, if you want a lead, decide to give up something that's bringing
you consternation instead of peace. Start small if you need to; clean something that you've been
avoiding. Don't respond to a request to do something you don't want to do, or call that person and
tell them you've got other plans.
You only get one life. Value it, and yourself. Take a big step forward today, and notice how
immediately you'll feel like a new person. You'll get to like that.