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Every once in awhile, we all get upset or irritated by someone else, and they’re probably getting irritated with you at the same time. It’s hard in both personal and working relationships when this type of thing happens.

In the book Crucial Conversationsicon, they give plenty of scenarios and tips on how to deal with people when one may not have the option of just getting up and leaving, and for the most part I agree with what they wrote. However, I don’t believe that every crucial situation necessarily needs both parties to sit there until everything has been resolved. Sometimes it’s a smart thing to get up, walk away for some bit of time, calm down, then prepare what you need to say, or even prepare for what you may need to hear. If you’re too emotional in the moment, you’ll never hear or understand what someone else has to say anyway, regardless of how it’s been presented.

I also believe that not every conversation that someone believes is crucial to them is crucial to you. Many years ago, I ran into one person who wasn’t happy with a newsletter I wrote about my dad, of all things, because my dad had been in the military. For three or four days this person wrote me long, rambling letters that didn’t make a whole lot of sense, even though I did know from the beginning what this person’s point was. I give it a shot at communicating, then thought about it and realized that this was someone who just wanted someone else to argue with, and it wasn’t going to be me. That he chose an article I wrote about my dad to start this trouble was infuriating enough. So, I stopped communicating, removed the person from the newsletter mailing list, and moved on with my life. Sometimes, people just want to argue for the sake of arguing; they need to argue with themselves.

Below is a video from Keith Ferrazzi of Never Eat Alone fame, and a recent short video he put on titled Know When To Walk Away:


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