(originally published April 25th, 2005)

A couple of weeks ago, while on a consulting assignment, I was sitting with someone who tends to get very upset with all the problems she encounters during the day. Truthfully, I believe she probably comes into work each day already expecting all the problems that eventually come up.

Usually I only spend a little bit of time with this person, but on this particular day I had the pleasure of spending close to 3 hours with her. With each passing minute, I found myself getting caught up in her consternation, and finally, with utter disgust that was mirroring hers, I said I had to go to the bathroom.

While in the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror and realized that I’d just gotten myself caught up in someone else’s emotions. Sure, I recognized the same problems she did, but none of them were so bad that they couldn’t be overcome or fixed. The fact is that the project I’m working on is fraught with problems, but if there weren’t any problems, there would be no reason to have me come in the first place to help out.

I came out with my senses back in place and a renewed spirit, as well as an inner strength that I’d forgotten about. The rest of my time was okay, and in the days since I’ve been in a very good mood, because I keep remembering that someone else’s problems means there’s a possibility of putting more money into my pockets.

As a leader, you tend to have to put out many fires during the day, or week, or year. Sometimes, those fires belong to others, and they’ve somehow gotten you worked up that you believe the problem is really yours, and you might react to it incorrectly while trying to fix it. Unless it’s a life threatening situation, no problem is really ever that critical, and if you can keep a level head while working on it, you’ll find that the solutions will come to you much more easily, and you’ll feel more of a sense of accomplishment once it’s been rectified, which is always euphoric.

The only person who should ever alter your mood is you.