How Many Chances Do You Give?
Posted by Mitch Mitchell on Aug 31, 2010
In my last post on the topic of communications, I pretty much said that no one is obligated to have to talk to anyone else if they know there are divergent beliefs where no one will change their mind unless it's work related and things have to get done. Today I'm going to add to that with kind of a different scenario.
I was supposed to have a business meeting today. It was scheduled to be at kind of a fast food restaurant; just what is Panera Bread considered anyway? This was a meeting that's had to be rescheduled a few times because the person's VA, who kept trying to schedule the meeting, kept setting up times instead of asking myself and another person when we'd be available. I don't even know what the meeting was supposed to be about, but I figured I'd go ahead and see what we might be discussing. Eventually I gave a couple of times when I'd be available, the other person did as well, and the 3 of us decided on a time to meet.
Fast forward to today. I was there 5 minutes early, which is my style. The other person came 3 minutes late, which is her style. The guy who wanted the meeting... no show. Nothing, nada, zip. Thing is, this isn't even someone I partially know well. I've only seen the guy once in my life, and it wasn't love at first sight, if you know what I mean. Frankly, I have to admit that I wasn't sure of his ethics at that particular meeting, yet I hadn't totally dismissed him, because he does have some talent.
And then today. I finally heard from him 3 1/2 hours later apologizing, saying he didn't have a way to contact us and asked if we could do it again. This time, I'm ignoring the email, and I will be ignoring the phone calls. Part of this is because I don't believe the message. He had contacted the other person numerous times via text message, and I know that because I've been there when she's received the messages. I did stay and have lunch, and we stayed for an hour; there was no way he could grab his phone and send a text message in an entire hour?
The other reason is that I don't reward bad behavior. This is someone I decided to give a second chance to, and it's not happening again. There's a time where we have to decide just how much we respect ourselves to not allow someone to consistently fail us and waste our time. I'm an independent businessman; time is kind of valuable to me. Every person should see their time as valuable, whether it's in business or it's hanging with family. No one should allow someone else to waste their time needlessly or thoughtlessly.
Could I be missing the next big thing? I have no clue. What I do know is that I wouldn't trust the person behind the next big thing to stick to his word, or to have the consideration needed to be a good business partner. One has to be ready to take a stand in their life and, as Dr. Phil says all the time, teach people how to treat you. This lesson will be taught silently; no all lessons need to be noisily expressed.
I’m with you, Mitch. Life’s too short.
Thanks Anne. The thing is that I wasn’t angry, just felt really disrespected, and I never want to feel that way. No one should.
I agree with you totally. I have read tons of information about “firing” clients, and this sounds like one you can live without.
I bet that if you did give this person a second chance that this behavior would still continue and with it would come headaches, wasted time, and loss of money.
One of my goals is to get to the point where I can pick and choose the people that I work with and weed out the problems. It allows for smoother business, which in return allows for better quality of work.
Keith, I’ve thrown money away because there are people I decide I won’t work with. I can usually tell up front, but on those occasions where I couldn’t tell up front, you can bet I haven’t stayed for a long time.
Mitch, I know exactly what you are talking about here. When you say that you do not reward bad behaviour I’m totally with you.
You see, it is the same for us when we hired someone and they ended up being a difficult person to work with, you know, turning up late, not completing tasks on time, rude on the phone to clients, some days not even turning up and without a phone call to let us know that this would be the case, etc.
Even after lengthy sit down meetings where I shared my concerns and gave lots of practical tips on how they could manage their time more efficiently they continued to do the same thing. We had to let the person go.
In this situation, you may feel guilty about doing this, especially when money is tight etc. But my point is always this, if you keep such people on, even after you offer solutions on how things can be improved and those improvements do not happen, then you are not doing them a favour by keeping them around.
You are effectively rewarding them for turning up and doing the bare-minimum with a nice pay-cheque at the end of every month. By letting them go, you are showing them that their behaviour has a negative consequence. This should be a good point of reflection for them in their future employment. That being said, some people will never get it!
Warmest regards,
Karl
Great stuff, Karl, and thanks for sharing your experience. I’ve had that happen as well, and that’s why I created some hard and fast rules so everyone knew what was expected, and trust me I wasn’t overly tough. That way, if I had to let someone go because they continually breached the rules, they knew it wasn’t anything personal.
What happens, I always wonder, when two of those people try to have a meeting? Do they both not show up? Do they both not bother to call? How do they function as businesspeople, colleagues, husbands and wives, or friends? And do they tolerate similar treatment from others?
I don’t know about anyone else, Charles, but I always showed up because it was about the job and not about me. And if I had to use that information, then I did.
We teach people how to treat us.
I don’t know if I missed how he contacted you 3 1/2 hours later but could you have been reached the same way — earlier?
Panera Bread was fun prior to my vegan days … I don’t even remember the menu.
I got an email 3 1/2 hours later. And I have to say that I’m not crazy about Panera Bread. I like a couple of their soups, but their bread is hard & fancy, along with their desserts.