Communicating Badly
Posted by Mitch Mitchell on Jul 12, 2009
This past week, we saw a private swim club in the Philadelphia area that ended up being accused of racism.
The reason for this is that a group of inner city minority children showed up at the club, having paid for the right to be there, and were quickly rounded up, sent back home, and had their money refunded to them without an explanation. Some of the children heard disparaging remarks coming from club members, which was uncalled for.
Initially the representative of the club came out and made a statement to explain his club's side of things, and he immediately put his foot in his mouth by saying that these kids would change the "complexion" of the club. Later on, after a week in which both the state senate and one of the senators for the state of Pennsylvania got into it, the representative came out and made a longer speech, saying his club has underestimated the capacity of their swimming pool, decided it was in the best interests to refund the money because of that, stated that they weren't racist and didn't mean to insult anyone or make anyone feel uncomfortable.
Whether anyone believes that or not (and I don't), this is an example of someone not thinking about what they wanted to say before they said it. It was also an example, if we even want to believe that they didn't know the capacity of their own swimming pool, of improper communications between the club and the organization representing the children to begin with.
I've talked about communications in both talking with other people and in writing, and the importance of trying to get it right. Often, the first message is the only chance you'll get, and even though no one is perfect, if the message that gets out is so bad that it immediately sets a tone of distrust, it's hard to turn that message around to whatever you really meant for it to be, and certainly harder to ever establish any real trust in what you have to say.
True, one doesn't always have enough time to work out the proper thing to say. In those cases, it's probably best to not say anything at all. With this club, the fallout might have been much less if the representative had just issued a "no comment". It still would have been an incident, particularly because of the comments of other club members, but it could have been mitigated somewhat by the official word saying something different than what they said.
Of course, with all the extra scrutiny, no one would have ended up believing anything this guy had to say eventually anyway.
Thanks for following up on this. I am very interested in this episode at the Philadelphia area pool. I think what happened to the representative was that he knew he was in trouble and that created stress for him. Stress interferes with the ability of humans to think. So his choice of the word “complexion” was the reality in his brain popping out of his mouth. What I question is the judgement of those who made the decision to invite area day camps. While I personally think the whole incident was racist, I wonder if the members would have reacted the same way based on classism if the same number of white children from a program for the economically disadvantaged had arrived. I am not saying what transpired wasn’t racist.
Hi Sharon, and thanks for commenting. I’m with you on all of this. There was just a general failure across the board. Supposedly there was another group that was also turned away, before this group, and had their money refunded. Makes me wonder just who was in charge at this swim club.
Yeah, I don’t think they were racist. Somebody just made an inappropriate comment. I don’t think any company wants to look racist these days – it’s just terrible publicity.
.-= Zegarki´s last blog ..Nowe artykuÅ‚y =-.
Hi Zegarki. No, people don’t want to look racist, but it’s amazing how quickly things can happen when people err like they did. I think it was just ineptness; I hope I’m right.
You’re wrong. They were being racist. I’m not buying into the whole thing because there are many clubs in the world, exclusive clubs where certain people are not considered to be the right type to be there. They screwed up… they made the mistake and they need to recognize that whether there was a “miscommunication” which I highly doubt… or not, they acted badly. There was no miscommunication when they kicked those kids out and the kids heard those disparaging remarks either. Little food for thought on this Sunday morning.
This club is one of those places. That’s not acceptable behavior.
Sue T.
Nicely stated, Sue. They really did mess up, and their reputation is damaged, even if it’s not on the front pages anymore.
Well, their reputation may be damaged but I think that those who went there before, who never gave it though have to contend with themselves now. Recognize out loud where they belong and if that’s okay with them. For some, they’re okay with that. So, nothing is going to change.
For others, it may not have occurred to them at all and they’ll quickly bury it because it’s not “them” doing it, it’s the club. But as a member of the club they’re promoting it by staying. They get off pretty easily by saying how the club does it, thereby alleviating their part. Because they stay the condone it.
And after all 🙂 Management made it so, not them.
So… really this will blow over because people aren’t going to continue, at least I don’t think they will, to talk about it and it will wear off…
The fact I found shocking in this incident is the fact that the club owner was reportedly one of President Obama’s staunchest supporters during his campaign. This just proves my feeling that things haven’t really changed all that much and whites still see us as good and bad–or should I say “house” and “field” negroes.
It reminds you a little bit of the movie Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, doesn’t it? It’s possible that he was put out there to “hang”, so to speak, and then messed up, but we all know, or at least feel, what the real truth is, right?
Let me clarify that—“some whites”…